Small Note on Sociability and Anti-Sociality

"Why are "hugboxes" often toxic?"

The purpose of sociability and systems of social belonging are not to allow an individual's wellbeing, but instead to protect the structure of the social itself. The social is never object of criticism, even when the social space projects harm it is deemed anti-social to go against it, for example, a situation of bullying can go on and on but as long as it is part of the "social space" it is never actively challenged, what is challenged instead are actions that disrupt the social in any way. Disrupting the social is the biggest sin one can commit to the structure of sociability and individuals are sacrificed in order to keep the social space stable. It is that stability that comes into question with asociality, not any relation of harm. A social space is perfectly stable while being toxic and it turns to itself to maintain stability, promoting behaviour that shuns anti-social behaviour in order to maintain itself. The actual harm of anti-social behaviour isn't what is put into question, rather it is how disruptive it is. Everyone has to be nice to each other to maintain the social structure stable and keeping on, while breaking away from this niceness is actively dangerous to this structure because it destabilizes the space and disrupts it. The social game is not about treating others well but playing in tune with the overarching social structure. The consequences of this is that the niceness of a social space never actually indicates whether it does harm. There can be nice (stable) social spaces where toxic behaviour and animosity between individuals is constantly present, what is rejected in niceness is disruptiveness. People who can't fall in-line, for psychological, material, social, cultural reasons are thus shunned and deemed disruptive, stigmatized as anti-social and evil, regardless of the harm they do. Meanwhile, people who do harm can be promoted under these systems as long as they can keep the system as a whole stable by behaving nicely publicly, even if the harm they do privately does actively harm those in that social space.